1. Stand to the right, walk to the left! 

2. Crosswalks aren't a suggestion. You should probably stop before them.

3. Stop signs: also not a suggestion. You don't have to California roll through 'em all.

4. The sidewalks are big, but that doesn't mean your group should take up the entire thing – especially when there are other people trying to walk around (or opposite) you.

5. Why do your crosswalk lights not function unless you push a damn button? 

6. It's always a pleasant surprise when the train the board said was 24 minutes away shows up in 3 minutes, but update that shit, please. 

7. Take out your Metro card before encountering a turnstile!

8. How is anyone supposed to tell the difference between the red and purple lines at Union Station when they don't always come in on regular tracks?? I've run down stairs to jump on what I thought was a red train before only to end up on a purple one.

9. On that note: why aren't your trains color coded in some way? Why do the trains all have that literal red line paint job?

10. How do the majority of the Metro employees stay so cheery and helpful? Explain, then create a course and teach it to the MTA.

11. Why can't I drink my coffee in the morning if it's in a tumbler with a secure lid? :(

12. Do you notice when people sneak sips of their coffee anyways?

13. How often do you clean the metro seats?

14. I'm secretly grateful for the lack of cell service underground because then I don't have to check my emails.

15. Despite the occasional frustrations, I'd still take you over the MTA, let's be honest.