Wednesday, January 20, 2016

'yes, thank you.'

I'm better at giving compliments than receiving them -- not that I receive a ton, nor do I necessarily want many. A "good job" once in awhile is always nice to hear, but anything more makes me uneasy.

This truly isn't me fishing more compliments, if that's what it sounds like. I've been thinking about this topic for the last month or so, and then today I had a meeting with a lovely individual that ended in her saying wonderfully complimentary things and my gut reaction was to say anything but "thank you."

Why is it so hard sometimes to just say "thank you"? I think a few reasons go through my brain when someone says something complimentary: "I don't deserve that," "Is he/she sincere?," "I can't look like I just agree with the compliment because it'll make me look cocky."

When I first got my current job, there were a lot of people who sent wonderful messages of congratulations, in emails, texts, and in person too. I felt uncomfortable just saying "thank you" because I was afraid it would make me sound cocky...which is a silly assumption because when someone says, "thank you" after a compliment, it doesn't mean anything aside from "thank you."

One of my favorite goddesses on the planet blogged about just this topic today, posing the question, "At what point did I learn that I shouldn’t accept good things?"
"Practice saying yes, thank you with no equivocation. Equivocation is a lie that prompts the giver to have to then insist, or to heap on more compliments, or to engage in verbal gymnastics so that I can save face during this vulnerable moment. How dumb. How rude. How self-defeating. How boring."
Her advice, which was also given to her: just say "thank you" -- no ifs, ands, or buts. Good advice.

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