'Embrace Feeling Stupid'

Sunday, January 31, 2016 / 10:52 AM

At the end of every year, I'm pretty convinced I haven't really learned anything. Which isn't true. There are "big picture" lessons I do take away from the year, but I often forget some of the other details of a week or month, lessons I should be taking with me as the year progresses.

So I'm going to start keeping an advice log for myself on this blog because it'll hold me accountable to not fall into the same old traps and the same old pity parties that generally tend to grab onto me and drag me down halfway through the year.

Also, blogging and writing is good for me. It makes me go less crazy in a day, and it also helps me sort out the thoughts that I tend to word vomit at Kristen every day.

1. Feeling stupid doesn't mean you are stupid. 
I set absurdly high expectations for myself, which is probably the source of all of my anxieties. Because of this, any mistake -- small, large, whatever -- tends to leave me feeling completely incompetent. 

But guess what? Mistakes happen. People screw up. Why do I always forget that? Courtesy of Cortney, who always knows exactly what to say: "I figure the fact that we feel so stupid for our mistakes is evidence of how much we desire to do well. So embrace feeling stupid for a while because it shows how much you care and want to do better. And yeah -- we're probably nowhere near as stupid as we feel -- we just have high expectations, and those high expectations are often what people notice more in the long run."

She's so smart.

2. Play hardball.
I am such a people pleaser, and it's created a lot of unhealthy habits. I would rather stay up late and get four hours of sleep so I can work more than say no to those meetings or mixers I have the option to say "no" to. Want to get me to do anything? Throw a little bit of guilt in there and I instantly crumble. It's terrible.

Also, being a people pleaser is bad when you're supposed to be a boss, because rather than be strict on rules and requirements, I try to be too understanding, which has inevitably only screwed me over in the past. 

Lesson here: it's OK if not everybody likes you. Stand your ground. Be aggressive when aggressiveness is warranted. Don't let yourself get walked over or used or pushed around.

3. Sleep in.
Weekends are for sleeping in, and I totally have taken that for granted in the past couple of years. Lately, I've been sleeping in on Saturdays and it's been glorious because I certainly don't get enough sleep during the week while I'm staying up until 3 a.m. writing and editing articles.

That being said, I should also sleep more in general -- meaning GO TO BED at a reasonable time. I'll tell myself that probably every month, and just ask me in 10 months what time I'm going to bed. I'm sure nothing will have changed. (At least it's a noble goal, right?)

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