'You Deserve Better'

Tuesday, June 19, 2012 / 12:34 AM

I received an email from a good friend earlier today with a very sweet response to a bit of my ranting, with three words I think we're all familiar with: "You deserve better."

I think we've all said that to someone at some point, or heard it from someone ourselves. You deserve better, and you and you and you--so, in theory, we all deserve better. And yet, we all don't think so either. We're always selling ourselves short, letting others walk all over us in hopes that we can be the bigger person. But sometimes, people just treat others like crap. We all do it, whether it's intentional or not.

Perhaps we should all be striving for the patience and kindness we hope for others to bestow on us so it doesn't matter when we're placed on back burners or ignored, and it doesn't matter when someone makes a promise and forgets. If you put enough good out there in the world, some of it is bound to come back to you someday, right? At least we should all try to live a life that encourages compassion.

There will be people who you choose to invest in who will never take you seriously, never see you as an equal. They will forget the things you say, they will ignore you and choose others they may not really care about because you may demand too much: you may demand respect, and we don't like to be told we haven't been respecting others. They will mistreat you, and you will have a choice to stand up for yourself or not. Most often, we choose to sit back because we want to believe that that person we love cannot be that cruel. At least that's what I want to believe. I want to believe people are inherently good, and if that makes me naive, then so be it--I'm a fool.

The world itself is filled with so many things that make me lose faith in the decency of others. I spend my entire day watching the news and there's a lot of shit out there that is enough to incite utter chaos and despair in my brain on the subway ride home. So I don't like to feel like the people I come in direct contact with from day to day are indecent or disrespectful as well. I don't want to be someone who isn't a decent friend or a decent human being either.

I suppose this is just a very verbose answer to the question, "Why do you let yourself be treated like crap?" And the short answer could well be, "I'm not good enough for him/her/them/etc." Really, my answer is that, deep down, I'm sickeningly optimistic.

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  1. This could be referencing a lot of different parts of life, but it reminded me of something Ms. Wanket said in high school "if you raise the bar, boys will work harder to reach it." I didn't really understand it in a way that I found applicable to my life until years later. If it is a reference (even in part) to your love life, then keep that bar high, don't take no crap!

  2. I am amazed at how often I sell myself short- and I think it's because I have a habit of holding very low expectations of people. It's like I'm suffering the opposite of your sickening optimism- I never encourage people to be better to me, when really if I did we might both benefit. And some of it is laziness on my end too- if people are good to me, I have to be good to them too. I'm glad you shared your musings.

  3. That's right, I did say that, didn't I? I must have been having a smart day. You are so beautiful and amazing. You deserve to be treated like the queen that you are.