Sunday, November 22, 2009

"one thing i can tell you is you got to be free."

I should ask a complete and total stranger for advice on what to do with my life. I'm at this point where I feel like I have life figured out, and yet I know for sure that I don't. There are about seven million different forks in the road. Physically impossible, yes, but metaphorically, it's pretty accurate. I feel like I'm piling up all this experience and just grabbing at everything I can wherever I go, but I have no real direction. I'm going forward, yeah, but where is that all going to take me? Millie says she thinks I'll be one of the most employable graduates from UCI, but I don't see it. Maybe it's because I'm a very harsh critic of myself, but I can see myself flat broke in a twelve-by-twelve apartment someday, working four minimum wage jobs to make rent.

Rant, rant, rant, cry, cry, cry.

I annoy myself so much sometimes.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

create change.

"Change never ever happens in a snap.  It took people of color decades to get civil rights in this country.  It will take decades for people to undersand that education should be a right for everyone, just as it's taken decades for people to begin to understand that health care is a right.  But in order to get the wheels turning, we have to start now." -Emmy

First off, this girl has amazing rhetoric and our dialogues are always so fascinating to me. Whether it's listening to her speak at teach-ins or staying up on AIM until nearly 3 a.m., our conversations always keep the wheels of my brain turning.

And now to the questions of the moment: How do we create change? What inspires it? How do we make our voices heard? How do we ignite the flames we hope to spread across the state?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

creature of habit.

If you add up the total time I've spent at this one table in the Student Center today, it would come out to about six and a half hours. I don't know how productive you can say I've been. My goal this morning was to read an article for E105 and then go to Spanish. Instead, I worked on an article for the New U and skipped Spanish to chat it up with some friends. Then after work and E105, I came back to this table with the intention of studying for my LJ103 midterm. Instead, more hanging out. I just finished (quite well, I might add) my midterm and now I'm back at this table, waiting for discussion at 7. Eight weeks into the quarter and I still think leaving a 40-minute gap between lecture and discussion is ridiculous.

I've been contemplating the obvious problems associated with our generation's overwhelming apathy, and I wonder what motion can be made that will change that. It will have to be something large because I feel like we've all degenerated into a solipsistic state where we are no longer a "community." It's everyone for themselves. I wonder what the benefit of that really is.

Discussion soon, followed by the debate. I almost want to skip it in favor of going home and diving into some mac and cheese. At least in a bowl of mac and cheese, there is no apathy or no right or left side.