Monday, December 29, 2014

the way I see it: resolutions are meaningful.

I tried to make New Year’s resolutions as a kid, but I would never, ever follow up on them. I would write a few things down on a piece of paper, and fold it up into a tiny square, and hide it somewhere in a desk drawer or in my room, then promptly forget about it until I stumbled upon it the next year. The resolutions I’d make were never anything too severe. I can hardly remember any aside from “will try to make my bed every morning,” which just goes to show how seriously I took resolutions anyways: I couldn’t even commit to saying I would indeed make my bed.

As I grew older, I started skipping the annual list, instead declaring that every day was an opportunity to resolve to be better. It was partially an attempt to try to improve myself every day, but also a realization that I would fail at whatever Jan. 1 resolutions I would make anyways. Why write them down and run the risk of a tangible reminder that I couldn’t follow through? I was more of a reflector anyways than someone who looked ahead.

Which isn’t necessarily a good thing. But lately I’ve been looking ahead more seriously and recognizing that in order to become the person it is I say I want to be, I have to set real goals and prioritize to get there. One of the hardest things in life can be trying to chart a course toward your future, especially since we can never know what the future will hold.

I guess one way to begin charting that course is to set resolutions at the start of every year.

I want to cook more, stop ordering delivery and eat more vegetables and less sweets (note to self: go to the dentist). I want to keep my room and my closet and dresser clean and less cluttered. I want to really work on my Cantonese. I want to use the gym in my building. I want to stop putting off laundry until the very last minute, and I should also probably remember to buy laundry detergent more often. I want to keep my makeup and nail polish organized so I don’t end up with bottles and bottles of expired crap. I want to finally unsubscribe from mailing lists instead of throwing things out and being annoyed that I haven’t yet unsubscribed from these damn things. I want to read the magazines and newspapers I get. I want to go to sleep at a reasonable time and get up at the first (or at least the second) alarm every morning. I want to travel (from short east coast weekend trips to longer ones all over the map) and read often and write more—blog posts, letters, emails, to do lists. I want to complain less about work and spend the extra time generating ideas and looking up recipes for pies to bake. I want to set boundaries where boundaries need to be set, and knock down walls where they need to be knocked down.

I want to stop making excuses for why I can’t do all of these things—and more.

4 comments:

  1. It is bizarre coming here, because my name is Traci, and I love polka dots. Is this my website? Haha. Your resolution thoughts are wonderful. One more thing you can think about is doing the one little word thing, where you choose just one word to reflect what you want out of the year. For example, my word for 2015 is surrender.

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  2. Boundaries, yes! So important. Have a wonderful year.

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  3. "I want to stop making excuses for why I can’t do all of these things—and more." That right there is what everyone, especially me right now, needs to hear. Beautiful! ~Rachel

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