Friday, June 14, 2013

one foot in front of the other.

Shutting down the 4th floor station...
I worked until midnight alone on the 4th floor the day before the Video Team moved up to 27. The IT guys had already moved everyone else's computers, and I was surrounded by dust bunnies and empty chairs as I worked through my shift. When I left for the night, I followed instructions to shut everything down and seal my boxes for the move, and walked out to a quiet Sixth Ave alone. It felt like the end of some sort of era, though nothing was really changing too much. I would still go to the same building the next day and do the same job I'd been doing for over a year.

But I think I got comfortable in that cave-like office. I liked the quirks, despite how much we all complained about the low ceilings and bad lighting. It was the first placed I called home inside of Rockefeller.

On Monday, I will get up and take the same subway line to the same building, but it will be different--a welcoming kind of different, though. It's like the first day of your second or third year of high school/college: same place, familiar faces. But different.

Change is scary, but I've always tried to operate on the belief that being scared means you're simply stepping out of your comfort zone, and there's nothing wrong with challenging yourself. That's what life should be about: pushing yourself to do more and be more than the person you were when you woke up the day before.

I took my time leaving the building earlier tonight after putting my shows to bed. (Keva understood this, but it's funny how attached you get to the little things. Also, I really do admire and appreciate the people I got to work with and know each night.) I stopped to chat with some folks, share a couple of laughs and sarcastic remarks with a friend, and this time I didn't leave work feeling tired or frustrated about the things that hadn't gone smoothly during my shift. We walked outside, waved goodbye, and things didn't feel as final as it did the night before we moved upstairs; it felt like a new beginning.

I don't know. Changes always make me anxious, but I'm ready for it. Life is going to happen whether or not I'm on board, so I might as well buckle up and go for the ride.