Seriously. Whatever filmmaker decided that the young ingenue in the pouring rain, crying her eyes out, is the perfect picture of beauty in despair is stupid. Crying makes your eyes puffy and your heart race. It makes your hands shake and your nose run. Crying is frustrating and upsetting and not very pretty at all (unless you’re crying from laughter, I’m sure). It makes you feel awful, worse than you were already feeling before you started crying. It makes you feel like a 17-year-old girl who just got stood up for the prom. (I also just really like that metaphor, it's very applicable.)
But then it’s also weird because, when you’re done crying, you feel better. Sometimes. It really can be cathartic to just let it all out. You might not even know why you're upset and why you're crying in the first place, but when you're done, it won't matter. And all of the things you wanted to say out loud, all of the things you wanted to get off your chest and share with someone who isn't there sort of melt away off the edge of that cliff you were about to jump off of before you started with the muffled hysterics behind the closed door of your solitary bedroom.
Anyways, I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm re-learning how to write without feeling like my words aren't good enough for the page. This is my own blog, after all. Why do I always get so self conscious? I've also been twiddling my thumbs for the last two hours or so, waiting. This is also a metaphor that's very applicable for...I don't know, everything. "Waiting." So, no prom night for me. I should take my own advice and stop waiting for shit to happen and go make it happen elsewhere.