Over the course of nineteen pages, I traveled through eleven years of my life. Revisiting the past is not as nostalgic as it sounds though. As I wrote, I realized how incredibly painful the events of my life have been. I suppose I never really saw it that way before because I never connected it all together, or maybe because I've seen the even-bigger picture and realized that nothing is ever really too big to overcome. (Did that make sense? It's almost midnight and I'm prematurely exhausted, forgive me.) And yet, I don't want people to walk away from my essay feeling pity for me. Emotions are a tricky thing, and for someone who has been careful to keep her emotions at bay all her life, tapping into them for this essay have been hard. What am I even trying to convey? Sadness? Anger? Frustration? Confusion? Depression? (Depression's not a feeling, I know - it's a state.)
And finally, this is appalling:
But what also strikes me is how unaffected Owen seemed in the video. Maybe he cries at night, who knows. I don't remember crying either though, and if I did it was because of something trivial. Now that I think about it, most videos and interviews I've seen/heard involving children in this case share the same reaction, but it's the parents who worry instead.
It makes me wonder: What would I do if my child was born with alopecia?