Sunday, May 9, 2010

"crazy rush."

Crushes are stupid - to a nine-year-old, maybe not; but to anyone past the age of fifteen, I beg to differ. "Having a crush on someone" is like wanting that really cool, but expensive, toy at Target. You can desire it all you want, but there's a 90% chance you won't get it. And, in any case, you'll forget all about this "love of your life (at the moment)" in a year or two.

Or maybe I'm just incredibly cynical and bitter. Yes, I think that's it. I was watching rom-com snippets while channel surfing last night; those always affect my perception of relationships and "love."

One of the best and worst things a young adult can do is go back and read old diaries and journals. When I'm at home, I tend to rifle through the pages of my childhood which I so diligently recorded in spiral notebooks, floral hardcover journals and pink and pretty diaries. What impresses me the most about my immature scribbling is the fact that I managed to "have a crush" on the same boy for nearly three years. And yet when I think back on it right now, I can barely remember what appealed to me about this boy. Clearly, the only reason I liked him was because he was "popular" and sat next to me in class. And he used a lot of hair gel. I apparently had a thing for guys who glopped on ridiculous amounts of gel to their hair. Ah, the trends of the late '90s and early '00s - thanks, boy bands.

I've since learned that "having a crush" is fairly counterproductive. Pining for someone without acting on it is unnecessarily time-consuming. If you want the thrill of unrequited love, listen to some Taylor Swift instead. If you like someone, act on it without fear of rejection (which is clearly easier said than done because, yes, I am the world's biggest wuss when it comes to this lesson). It's better to jump then fall (excuse the Tay Tay reference) than sit around Facebook-stalking.

This mini bitchfest is really just here to A) show what a Debbie Downer I am, B) help me recapture some of my "voice" for my personal essay and C) assist me with my procrastination.

Here's a video to assist you with your procrastination:

PS22 and Celtic Woman cover Jay-Z and Alicia Keys' "Empire State of Mind." This is one of the songs that has been stuck in my head all day, thanks to last night's SNL. I don't even really like Jay-Z, but I love PS22.

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