Thursday, February 25, 2010

time moves fast.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -Eleanor Roosevelt

I stress myself out a lot about the future. Cheever always used to remind us to live in the present moment, but sometimes I forget and then my mind runs wild. What does the future hold? What are my worries? What are my goals? What am I working towards? It's too easy to get caught up in all of that...A year from now, I'll be nearing the end of my undergraduate career, and then what?

People often ask me what I want to do after college and I honestly can't tell them because I don't know. When my dad asks, I often feel compelled to lie a bit because I don't want him to worry. I plan on applying for everything I can, really, and just hope to God something works out. I think that's why I work so hard right now: to gain as much experience and knowledge as possible.

But I still feel like it's not enough. I still feel like I'm missing something. I'm always in this race with myself to do better - but better than what? And how can I guarantee that everything I'm doing now will really benefit me in the future?

Or maybe this is supposed to be a mystery and maybe I'm supposed to just walk blindly forward. I do love surprises, but sometimes it's just too much for me.

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