Monday, March 23, 2009

06.

"Endless conflicts. Endless misunderstanding. All life is that. Great and little cannot understand one another." -H.G. Wells

People kind of confuse me. I don't understand - You try to be a decent human being and make up for certain errors of your way, and people will continue to misread and misunderstand you. I think that's rather frustrating because I've never been in a place where so many people encounter so many misconceptions about one another. Maybe my world was too sheltered before, I don't know, but it surprises me that I have found more negativity in the past year and a half than I have encountered...really, ever. Maybe California is just divided up into two very different zones? I don't know.

I asked somebody a little while ago what she liked about UCI and Irvine and her response was, "I like being here because it reminds me how much better Norcal is." I laughed, but when I think about it, it's true. I don't know what it is that separates the two so much. When I'm down here, I feel like a different person, in both good and bad ways. I've finally gotten to a place where I feel as motivated as the person I was in high school, and I'm starting to gain respect from people (granted, not my peers, but it's still an improvement). I don't think I'm as strong or confident as I used to be--much of me was broken down and I've yet to find a solid way to recover--but I will get there because I know I still have the support and love of my best friends, even though they are miles and miles away.

Life is odd and full of misunderstandings and confusion. I guess surviving through it is what makes you stronger. I think when we get out of college, we're all a hell of a lot stronger than we ever thought we could be.

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