Friday, March 20, 2009


"Saying what we think gives a wider range of conversation than saying what we know." -Cullen Hightower

Though quite the conservative man, I like this quote from Cullen Hightower. I often say that I wish I could read minds, but only for 24 hours. I think it could get quite frustrating, always knowing what everyone thinks and feels. It would also take away some of the mystery in people, which would make life too predictable.

Rather than being able to predict a person's next move, I am more interested in hearing what people think. What goes through your mind? Conversations filled with simple facts are never as engaging as an exchange of thoughts.

* * *

"Storytelling is healing. As we reveal ourselves in story, we become aware of the continuing core of our lives under the fragmented surface of our experience. We become aware of the multifaceted, multi-chaptered 'I' who is the storyteller. We can trace out the paradoxical and even contradictory versions of ourselves that we create for different occasions, different audiences...Most important, as we become aware of ourselves as storytellers, we realize that what we understand and imagine about ourselves is a story. And when we know all this, we can use our stories to heal and make ourselves whole." -Susan Wittig Albert

Self-explanatory, I feel. I had more to say about that first quote, but while watching this re-run of last week's Tyra Show on dating abuse (aired after the Oprah episode mentioned in a previous post), I can only find myself back in contemplation.

I had said I didn't have much to say about the Chris Brown/Rihanna incident. I still don't have much to express, but to honor the first part of this post, what I think about it is that the whole situation is frustrating. It's frustrating to hear about any abusive relationship - whether it be physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, etc. It's frustrating to be in it too.

Some think there is a thin line between arguing and abuse, but I think there's a pretty well-defined line. Simple arguments don't leave one person physically injured or emotionally cut in half. When you're left questioning your self-worth because you're told you're not good enough for anyone, I consider it abuse. When you're pushing and screaming to defend yourself, when you're using alcohol or drugs to numb the pain, when you're being threatened - it's time to walk away. And sometimes you don't recognize it right away because you're blinded while involved, but it's there.

It's easy to say, "It'll never happen to me" or "If it happens to me, I would never let it slide." It's surprising what you do though when it does happen.

I don't like to think I hate. I don't believe I do. But I don't think I'm strong enough to forgive. Many say they still love or care about the people who have hurt them; I've learned to cut people out of my life who have done that. It's surprising how easily you close up when one person doesn't believe you, but it's also empowering when you find somebody who does. "I'm done."

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