Thursday, March 19, 2009

01.

"Stories are living and dynamic. Stories exist to be exchanged. They are the currency of human growth." -Jean Houston

I believe words are very powerful. Conversations are powerful. They further growth in ourselves and in our relationships. When people stop talking, things slow down and life gets put on hold. Having said that, I believe that the written word is equally as powerful as the spoken word; in fact, it can be even more powerful because there are times that the spoken words are those that go unnoticed or unheard.

For me, it's always been easier to write or to type out my feelings and thoughts. I was never much of a speaker. Not that I don't enjoy it, but my thoughts feel more put together if they're not coming out of my mouth. Maybe it's because some things are better left unspoken, because I have a problem with emotions. I guard my emotions and deeper layers because I'd never expressed them before (another story, but for another time). So when it comes time to say something aloud that will bring out all sorts of emotions, I choke it back. It's a self-preservation thing.

With that being said--however much of it made sense--I still have no full comments on Chris Brown and Rihanna. I just watched last week's Oprah show about the issue and it's more thoughts to add to that compartment of my brain. That part of me, that story, has yet to be as alive and dynamic to me as it was when it first occurred. I don't know if it necessarily lives to be exchanged for my own self-preservation purposes. I believe there will be a time and place for it (preferably when I'm not drunk and being grilled for the information in a more public place than I'd like) but until then it sits with me as a reminder of the past I need to learn to let go.

I share the surface, but leave it there. Truthfully I have never shared more than the surface level details and with very few people, and only once have I ever gone in too deep to the past. Don't feel offended when I guard myself though. I surprise myself every time the words somehow manifest themselves into reality and I find myself sharing more than I thought I would and I apologize for the candidness. One of these days, I will learn to speak.

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